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The Reviewer Who Wasn't There
Ok, the first thing I'd like to do is state, for the record no less, that I am not a construct of Columbia Pictures.
For those who might be unaware, Columbia pictures was caught the other day for manufacturing not only glowing reviews of their films, but an entire film reviewer. While I don't condone this action, I can't really say that I'm surprised by it. Movie studios have been putting so much spin on reviews that even when attributed to a recognizable name, you still can't be sure you're reading a real quote.
They will take things out of context and butcher statements shamelessly. A quote like:
"I've never seen anything so bad in my life. I could have had a better time at a tax audit!"
Will become:
"I've never had a better time!"
You may think I'm kidding, but unfortunately, I'm not. While the quotes above are fictitious, the level of editing is not. Furthermore, there are plenty of less-than-ethical critics out there who are willing to "sell" gushing reviews for just a little wining and dining by the studios. Such critics are called "quote whores" and are often given special access sets and stars in return for a few kind words.
It could be argued that we're only talking about movies here. What does it matter if someone says they liked a film that they really considered to be junk? True. And I can't really think of an argument against this reasoning other than to say it comes down to an issue of self-respect. Make no mistake about it, these reviewers are selling themselves out and what's worse is that the studios encourage it.
Just think for a moment about what a better Hollywood we would have if these studios would take all of the money they spend on wining and dining their quote whores and instead spent it on better scripts. If you want a metaphore, think of the quote whore as Dr. Frankenstein and the Michael Bay's of Hollywood are the good doctor's creations.
With that in mind, I'd like to assure you readers that you will always get my honest assessment of the films I review. It's true that some of the discs I review are sent to me by the studios, but I don't let that influence me. If I think a film stinks, I'll tell it like it is (just look at my continual slamming of Armageddon for proof of this - great disc by Criterion, absolutely lousy film).
-- Robert Wurth
(This article orginally appeared in the Deranged Video Dude column on Newsguy.com)
