DVD Review: The Island
Jump To: Video/Audio/Features/Bottom Line
::Movie review
Michael Bay , like many current Hollywood directors, cut his teeth shooting music videos. Unlike many current Hollywood directors, Bay seems to still think he's filming videos.
A music video is only about 3 minutes long, yet it has to tell a completely self-contained story. In a medium where the scene must shift with nearly every drum beat, there simply isn't time to linger. Most directors recognize this limitation and they seek out film because they want to tell a more in-depth story. And then there is Bay, the Director Who Never Grew Up. A great movie can run for 3 hours and seem like an hour. A Michael Bay movie runs 2 hours and feels like 6.
The Island is Bay's latest exploration of the absurd. I didn't think it would be possible to top Pearl Harbor in the realm of shear stupidity, but I should not have been so quick to lose faith.
Visually, this film looks like what might happen if you gave a movie camera to someone riding a roller coaster while suffering an epileptic seizure. And that may very well be the nicest thing I can say about it, because as horrifyingly nauseating as the directing and editing are, they are actually tolerable when placed next to the plot.
It isn't even that the premise behind The Island is a bad one. I can actually think of a hundred different ways that this story could have been intriguing and Michael Bay shows a supremely astonishing lack of talent to miss every single one of them.
The film opens with the information that the Earth has been contaminated by some disaster and all of the survivors are forced to live inside a sterile environment. Apparently, there is one island that wasn't contaminated, but it isn't large enough for all of the survivors to live on. So, everyone waits to be chosen by lottery to go live in paradise.
One of the survivors is Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) and he has begun to question his situation. For instance, he wonders why he and all of the other survivors are only allowed to wear white, or why he can't eat the foods he wants to eat. Then there are the pesky nightmares that he can't quite explain.
Admittedly, the first parts of The Island showed some promise and, despite the caffeinated monkey directing, I was beginning to think that Michael Bay might actually be attempting some depth in his film. But all hints of intelligence are effectively squashed by the first shout (of dozens) of “Run!” that signifies a plummet into preposterously awful action sequences that succeed only at being louder and more ridiculous than previous Bay efforts (quite an achievement, actually).
How preposterous? Consider: This is a world where trains no longer require tracks, and thererfore no longer require wheels, because they hover on a magnetic field. Later, apparently because Michael Bay thought it would be “neat,” the heroes find themselves speeding down a highway on the back of a semi truck hauling train wheels, which apparently exist for the sole reason that they can conveniently be pushed off the back into the path of pursuing police vehicles. If that isn't enough, another scene has Lincoln and Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) falling 70 stories down the side of a building only to land with nary a scratch. Ordinarily I try to keep these reviews fairly tame, but I have to admit that it was at this point where I actually muttered aloud, “oh, this is just bullshit.”
Making matters worse is the fact that the few moments of science fiction interest that do exist within this film are almost completely ripped off from other, better films and stories, such as Gattaca, THX 1138, Coma, Minority Report, the works of Heinlein and other classic writers. These thefts can't even be called homages, because I honestly don't think Bay is that clever.
So far, I think I have managed to avoid spoiling any major plot points, and believe me, this was quite a challenge. At 2 hours and 16 minutes, you would think there would be quite a lot to discuss, but I'm not convinced there is really any more than 16 minutes worth of plot in this film. And even if you distilled away the action sequences to just those 16 minutes, it would still be a waste of time.
::Video
The Island looks fairly decent in the video department, except for an over abundance of edge enhancement. You would have thought that edge enhancement problems went out with the 90's. Then again, you would have thought that yellow lens filters went out with the 90's, too -- but that doesn't stop Michael Bay. Other than that, the picture looks good, with strong contrasts and no digital artificating that I could spot.
::Audio
The audio on this disc is very dynamic, with whooshes accompanying every whip pan and quick cut. Good range in the mids and highs balance out the teeth rattling bass.
::Special Features
There are only 2 extra features here. The first is an audio commentary by Michael Bay and the other is a 15 and half minute featurette about the special effects.
I have a hard time listening to Bay talk because he just seems far too smug for what is essentially a one-trick pony director. The commentary here is even worse than normal because Bay is uncharacteristically subdued, and flat-out boring much of the time. Most of this comments are very dry and focus on the technical aspects of making the film, with a few nods here and there to the story.
The featurette, The Future In Action, is a little more interesting as it focuses on the the action sequences. Interestingly, this featurette offers a better view of some of these sequences than what the ADD style editing shows in the final film.
::Bottom Line
Many directors have poor early films as they find their footing. This can be forgiven. Michael Bay, however, actually seems to be degenerating as a director, with each film slipping several rungs further down the ladder of inanity. The Island is easily his worst effort yet, which is saying a lot when placed within the ranks of Bad Boys II and Pearl Harbor . I wasted over 2 hours suffering through this tripe just so that I could warn you, dear readers.
| Movie |  |
0.5 / 5 |
| Video | |
3 / 5 |
| Audio | |
4 / 5 |
| Extras | |
2 / 5 |
| Family Friendly | |
1 / 5 |
| Technically, The Island is very tame and not too far above the level of some films directly marketed to the kid crowd. Still, I give this one low marks because responsible parents shouldn't expose children to the horror that is a Michael Bay film. | ||
| Overall | |
1 / 5 |
- Robert Wurth, ©2005
::Technical Specs
Studio:
Dreamworks Home Entertainment
Year of Theatrical Release:
2005
Disc Format:
1 single-sided, Dual Layer
Image Format:
Anamorphic Widescreen
Aspect Ratio:
2.35:1
Region Encoding:
1 (North America)
Sound Format:
Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital 2.0 (pro logic)
Running Time:
136 minutes
Director:
Michael Bay
Stars:
Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi, Michael Clarke Duncan
MPAA Rating:
PG-13
Disc Supplements:
- Commentary with director Michael Bay
- The Future In Action featurette
