When I first saw this film it occurred to me that the actors likely had a lot more fun making the movie than I had watching it. It's also possible that getting my teeth filled would have been more fun.

I saw this film in the theater with a group of friends and the only thing that kept me in my seat was the thought that one of them might be enjoying it and I didn't want to leave them there. I came to find out, after we stumbled out into the lobby, angered at wasting 7 bucks a piece and two hours of our lives on that drek, that they had been having the exact same thoughts.

I shouldn't get ahead of myself.

Dungeons and Dragons (or D&D, if you will) began life as a fantasy game where players create characters and role-play them. Although, "role-playing" is something of a misnomer, since players don't actually act out their characters; it's more like spontaneous group story telling. If you're familiar with the game, you know what I'm talking about and if not, it's not that important. Suffice it to say that D&D has been a very popular game for almost 30 years.

For almost as long as the game has been around there have been plans to make a movie from it. Most of these plans were dropped as soon as they were conceived because it simply wasn't technically feasible to create the D&D world on film. At least until recently it wasn't feasible. Finally, this movie, bearing the franchise name, was produced.

Aside from the effects issue, part of what took so long for a D&D film had to have been the need to remain true to the game. With such a huge fan base, no movie could afford to butcher the general rules set forth by the game. On the other hand, a film shouldn't rely on its fans for an audience by becoming so rules-specific that no outsider could possibly follow it (a genre trap some of the Star Trek films have fallen into).

The writers of Dungeons and Dragons came up with a unique solution to this problem. They altered the game world just enough to irritate hard-core gamers and created a plot so convoluted that non-gamers really don't care that they can't understand half of the terminology.

The basic plot is that the evil Profion (who's name sounds more like a prescription drug than an evil wizard) wants to overthrow the good Empress Savina. Savina (played by Thora Birch), on the other hand, believes that mages hold too much power and wants a more equal class structure for her people.

Profion (Jeremy Irons) thinks he can take over if he can find a special rod that will allow him to control the dragons. He sends his best henchman, Damodar, after the rod. Damodar is played by Bruce Payne, who spends the entire movie scowling as though he just caught sight his ridiculous reflection in a mirror. I myself spent most of the film wondering if the blue lipstick he wears was his own contribution to character development or if perhaps he just became the victim of a bad bet.

Meanwhile, a pair of thieves (Justin Whalin and Marlon Wayans) break into the workshop of a wizard, where a scroll telling the rod's location happens to be hidden. Of course Damodar shows up at this point and battle ensues.

I need to stop there. It's not that I'm afraid of giving anything away, but because all of this takes place in the first few minutes of the film. From here on out it only gets more confusing as the film jumps around from set piece to set piece. The film does its best to throw so many elements into the mix that none of them feel like they belong.

It reportedly took ten years for this version of D&D to make it to the big screen. It's obvious that a time commitment like that makes this film a labor of love. Yet it's also obvious that no one bothered to step back long enough to evaluate the story as a whole. A little critical re-working of the script would have tightened things and allowed more room for character development, which this film sorely lacks.

For this review I sat through the film for the second time. I came to the realization this isn't big screen material. It's more suited for a movie of the week. The acting (or rather over-acting), plotting and set-pieces all work better on the small screen to make this a slightly more tolerable experience. I still didn't like the film, but I was less repulsed by it. Even most of the digital special effects would look more at home in an episode of Xena than on a feature film release.